When the Room Lets Go

Sitting quietly with a book

the room breathing softly around me

A fullness rises in my ears

a warning I know too well

Oh no

here it comes

A sudden rush

a whoosh that tears through the stillness

like a tornado splitting the air open

Vertigo unfurls

and my eyes lose their place in the world

everything spins a thousand miles an hour

I feel myself perched at the edge of a cliff

waiting for gravity to make its choice

Nausea climbs

and I try to stand

try to reach the bathroom

holding on to whatever my hands can find

Head bowed

I try to gather myself

but the floor rises

the ceiling drops

I collide with the wall

The whole room has forgotten how to stay still

Then as suddenly as it began

the world settles

The spinning stops

Exhaustion floods in

Brain fog dims my thoughts

I lie down

cold shivers moving through me

while tinnitus screams its single merciless pitch

Sleep finally comes

thin and uneasy

Awakening brings no relief

only the weight of exhaustion

The quiet arrival of anxiety

asking when it will return

when the cycle will begin again

when the cliff edge will open beneath me

Oh Meniere’s

let me go

Written after a flair in this unbearable disease